Mindset Before Skillset: Why Training Fails Without EQ

Jaime Diglio
Nov 18
3 min read

You can coach someone on what to do, but they still don’t do it. You show them again, they make the same mistake. It looks like a skill issue. In most cases, it’s a mindset issue.

There’s a mental block in the way. We all have them. Performance improves when we see the block and remove it.

The Human Sequence

Here is the chain I teach inside The WIN Room™:

Thoughts drive emotions
Emotions drive behaviors
Behaviors drive results
Results drive success

If thoughts aren’t aligned, results won’t happen. When you want leaders to lead better, sellers to sell more, and teams to work together with less friction, you don’t start with tactics. You start by building the mindset muscle that lets the tactics stick. That is why leadership training fails without the right mindset.

EQ Before SQ

In The WIN Room™ we always start with EQ before SQ.

EQ (emotional intelligence) is awareness of your inner game. It is noticing your thoughts, naming your emotions, and choosing your response. It is the shift from unconscious to intentional.

This work matters because most people overestimate their self-awareness. In studies, around 85 percent of people believe they’re self-aware while only about 15 percent meet the bar. Training EQ gives your people an edge over the 85 percent who are not.

Once the foundation is set, we layer SQ (social intelligence). That is the practice of reading the room, listening for what is unsaid, and communicating with clarity so your message lands.

The New ROI: Return on Interactions™

When EQ and SQ work together, leaders start mastering the New ROI: Return on Interactions™. Every conversation is a rep. Each rep either earns trust or erodes it.

What great reps look like

Clear internal state before the meeting
Specific intent for the interaction
Curiosity first, direction second
Language that signals respect and accountability
A close that confirms value and next steps

What poor reps look like

Rushed mind, reactive tone
Vague purpose or too many goals
Telling before understanding
Words that trigger defensiveness
A close with no commitment

Small differences in presence create large differences in performance over time.

On stage, Jaime Diglio shows teams how to shift from the WAR Room to the WIN Room™ by building the EQ that makes skills stick and conversations win.

A Quick Practice You Can Use Today

Let’s run a short rep, just you and me.

What are you thinking about right now?
How do you feel?
Is that feeling shaping your next action?
Are your actions moving you toward what you want or away from it?

Write one sentence that names your current thought and one sentence that sets your intent for the next conversation. That’s a micro-rep of EQ leading SQ.

Make Skills Stick

Skills fail when they are stacked on a shaky inner state. Skills stick when:

The inner game is owned

You can describe your default stress response
You have a reset routine you actually use
You know your top two values and how they show up under pressure

The outer game is practiced

You prepare one outcome and three questions for each meeting
You match your message to the listener’s needs
You end with a clear agreement on “who does what by when”

This is not about perfection. It is about intention, repetition, and review.

Keep It Simple, Keep It Daily

You don’t need a big program to start. Try this one-minute loop at the start and end of your day:

Aim: What do I need from my next conversation?
Intention: How do I want them to feel when we finish?
Action: What will I say or ask first to create that?

Close your day with two lines: What rep worked. What rep needs work. Repeat tomorrow. This is how you build The New ROI in real life.

Want a simple assessment to use with your team? Download the one-page guide and run it in your next meeting.

Ready to see where your team stands? Take the WAR Room Assessment to find out what’s holding them back and what it’ll take to move them into the WIN Room.