What I Learned in the Spice Aisle: A Simple Shift That Transforms How You Lead

A few weeks ago, I found myself standing in the grocery store staring at the spice aisle. Hundreds of tiny jars lined up in front of me. Paprika, cumin, turmeric, oregano.… I must have stood there for ten minutes frozen, unsure of what I needed.

This is the exact spice aisle moment where I was frozen in indecision, surrounded by choices. A simple ask for help sparked a powerful self-leadership shift.

It felt ridiculous. I’ve led global sales teams, advised executives, and trained thousands of leaders. Yet here I was, paralyzed in front of cinnamon and chili powder.

Finally, I turned to the two people standing next to me in the aisle and asked for help. Within seconds, I had my answer and moved on.

Walking away, I realized this wasn’t about spices at all. It was a snapshot of what happens to leaders every day.

Why We Get Stuck

We tell ourselves we have to know everything. That asking for help is weakness. We stay frozen, overwhelmed by choices, afraid of picking wrong. 

That’s what I call the WAR Room: Working Against Results.

In the WAR Room, three things take over:

Head trash

The noise of self-doubt and comparison, which distracts us from what matters most.

Lack of clarity

Too many options and no clear filter for decision-making.

Comparison

Thinking everyone else knows what to do and believing you should figure it out alone and suffer in silence - instead of leaning on others.

The truth is, leaders lose time, energy, and money when they live in the WAR Room. It’s not a lack of talent or drive. It’s a lack of clarity and alignment.

The Simple Shift

That moment in the spice aisle showed me a WIN Room truth: clarity often comes when you ask for help sooner.

WIN stands for What I Need. When I paused to name what I needed and reached out, the overwhelm lifted.

Here’s the lesson for leaders:

Stop trying to have all the answers

You don’t need to know everything. You need to know who to ask and when.

Ask the right people, faster

Instead of spinning alone, tap into the insight of those who see things differently.

Focus on what you need and what they need

Every interaction should move both sides forward—whether it’s with yourself, your team, or your clients.

It sounds simple, but this shift is powerful. Every interaction is either making money or losing money, building trust or eroding it. In The WIN Room™, we call this the New ROI: Return on Interactions™.

From Spice Aisle to Self-Leadership

This wasn’t really about grocery shopping. It was about self-leadership. When you clear the head trash and step into the WIN Room, you stop spinning in indecision. You start moving with clarity and purpose.

Strong leaders aren’t defined by knowing everything. They’re defined by how quickly they can filter what matters, align with others, and act with confidence.

And it begins with a simple question: What do I need right now?

For example:

• Before a meeting, ask yourself, What outcome do I need from this conversation?

• When coaching a team member, ask, What do they need to feel supported?

• When stuck on strategy, ask, Who has insight I can bring in to move forward?

By shifting from isolation to clarity, you not only move faster but also bring your team along with you. Research backs this up: according to Harvard Business Review, leaders who practice self-awareness and ask better questions build stronger alignment and achieve better outcomes.

A Practical Reset You Can Use Today

Here’s a 3-minute exercise you can try before your next high-stakes decision:

Step 1: Clear the noise

Take two deep breaths. Notice the head trash. Push it to the side and drop it.

Step 2: Name what you need

Write down one clear sentence: “What I need right now is ____.”

Step 3: Decide who to ask

Identify one person who can help you move faster with less friction. Reach out and say…I’ve noticed you’re really good at xyz. I’d value your opinion, what do you think about ____?

It may feel small, but these reps add up. Just like athletes train with intentional practice, leaders train clarity with every interaction.

That day in the spice aisle reminded me of something leaders often forget. You don’t have to know everything. You don’t have to spin in indecision, drowning in choices. You can pause, name what you need, and ask sooner.

Clarity is not about having all the answers. It’s about asking the right questions, of yourself and others, at the right time.

So here’s my question for you: Where are you staring at the “spice aisle” in your work right now? Stuck in indecision, waiting for the perfect answer, trying to figure it out alone?

You don’t need to. Clarity comes faster when you ask for what you need.

Want help? Step into the WIN Room. Book a 15-minute intro call and start practicing the New ROI today.