How to Handle Criticism at Work Without Losing Your Edge
- Jaime Diglio
- Oct 28
- 3 min read
We’ve all had that moment. Someone says something that cuts a little too deep, and suddenly you’re questioning yourself and your worth.
This is a tipping point between the WAR Room and the WIN Room™.
The truth is: not all criticism is about you.
Sometimes it’s just someone else’s stress, fear, or insecurity showing up in the form of feedback.
I’ve coached leaders who internalized a throwaway comment from a manager for months. Sellers who lost their edge after one client call. Brilliant team members who started shrinking just because someone else was feeling small.
Here’s what most people don’t realize: what sounds like feedback is often projection.
That recruiter who downplayed your experience? The leader who micromanages your every move? That sharp tone that made your stomach drop?
It’s rarely just about performance. It’s about power. About insecurity. About someone else needing certainty and expressing that need in a way that hits hard.
A Simple Way to Separate Truth From Trigger
When you start to question yourself, pause. Not everything needs to land. Not every comment deserves a seat at your table.
This is where self-leadership begins: in the space between the stimulus and the story you tell yourself.
Here’s a tool I use all the time (personally and professionally) to decode tough feedback and lead forward with clarity.
1. Pause – Don’t Take the Hit
When something stings, stop. Don’t absorb it immediately. Give yourself a second to breathe and ask: “Is this about me or is this about them?”
Most of us are wired to internalize criticism as truth, but this pause is where self-leadership begins. It breaks the cycle of reacting and allows you to choose your response.
2. Spot the Signal in the Noise
Criticism usually has two layers:
Noise = Emotion. Tone. Projection.
Signal = The unspoken need underneath.
Let’s say your boss says: “You’re always unprepared. You keep missing the mark.”
That’s the noise. It’s reactive. It’s fear-based.
But the signal might be: “I need to feel confident you’ve got this. I want clarity sooner so I’m not caught off guard.”
It means you don’t hand over your confidence just because someone else lost theirs.
This is the work of self-leadership, staying grounded in who you are, even when the room shakes.
3. Reframe What They’re Really Saying
This is where your mindset gets sharper. Stronger.
Instead of: “I must be failing.”
Reframe it to: “They’re overwhelmed. They need more visibility, not a different version of me.”
This doesn’t mean you excuse poor communication. It just means you don’t personalize what isn’t yours to carry.
4. Choose Your Play
Now you’re grounded. You’ve named the noise. Found the signal. Reframed the meaning.
What do you do with it?
Clarify: “What would ‘prepared’ look like to you in this case?”
Acknowledge + Pivot: “I hear your concern. Here’s what I’ve done so far. What else would be helpful?”
Diffuse with Data: “Here’s the timeline and key points. Let me walk you through it.”
This step is about restoring trust and communication without giving your power away. This is how you lead the moment instead of being led by it.
What Happens When You Lead the Moment Instead of Absorbing It
Every interaction is a rep. You’re either reinforcing doubt or building trust.
The next time feedback hits you sideways, ask yourself:
Did I react or respond?
Did I take it personally or decode it professionally?
Did I protect my confidence or hand it over?
When you lead yourself through moments like this, you build presence. Clarity. Resilience. This is how you shift from the WAR Room to the WIN Room™ one interaction at a time.
Before You Go...
You don’t need to avoid feedback to protect your confidence. You just need to learn how to listen differently.
Not everything said to you belongs to you.
Learn to pause. Spot the signal. Reframe it. Respond like the leader you already are.
Ready to build clarity, confidence, and reps that count? Step into the WIN Room™. Let’s chat.
Comments